you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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