Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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