don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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