what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
