i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
