just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize