Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
