I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
its not stalking. its research.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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