how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
