Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
