What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
