Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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