Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
