I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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