Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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