Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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