To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize