I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
