xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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