she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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