so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
