The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
