Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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