ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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