Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
