this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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