I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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