mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
