i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
