she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Damn victory sex feels great
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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