I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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