Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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