Non-Jews are for practice
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
