if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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