I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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