just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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