Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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