She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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