I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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