It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
