is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
