i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
