Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A+ Viking dick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize