You're completely useless in the revolution.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
