that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
