I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
