Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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