is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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