She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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