I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
