We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We got so high we made milksteak
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
