I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
