My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude