I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"