I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
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New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
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So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else