Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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  (504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life http://tfl.nu/kko9
  Replies (21) Good night (6631) Bad night (1244)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke

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  (519): I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke http://tfl.nu/3o1y
  Replies (50) Good night (1192) Bad night (2717)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT

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  (208): THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT http://tfl.nu/btha
  Replies (22) Good night (2886) Bad night (1089)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long

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  (602): at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long http://tfl.nu/0rd0
  Replies (8) Good night (1071) Bad night (3488)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

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  (678): Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date. http://tfl.nu/ovv7
  Replies (3) Good night (2888) Bad night (769)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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  (469): The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig. http://tfl.nu/4p0a
  Replies (9) Good night (4340) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.

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  (250): In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room. http://tfl.nu/ux5e
  Replies (2) Good night (2528) Bad night (783)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

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  (240): When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again. http://tfl.nu/1y07
  Replies (24) Good night (7223) Bad night (961)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat

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  (781): you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat http://tfl.nu/04qy
  Replies (8) Good night (3026) Bad night (822)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.

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  (360): Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover. http://tfl.nu/pu5x
  Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (1334)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for

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  (540): Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for http://tfl.nu/c110
  Replies (8) Good night (2126) Bad night (503)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.

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  (908): ....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle. http://tfl.nu/zsd1
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  You went over didnt you?

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  (210): He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with (1-210): You went over didnt you? http://tfl.nu/ykhn
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(

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  (613): I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:( http://tfl.nu/jd5u
  Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.

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  (562): I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help. http://tfl.nu/iwuh
  Replies (3) Good night (341) Bad night (241)

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