so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.