Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!

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  (805): As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!! http://tfl.nu/4n3e
  Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (1356)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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  (864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://tfl.nu/iikf
  Replies (10) Good night (4805) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight

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  (313): Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight http://tfl.nu/29c9
  Replies (30) Good night (6244) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.

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  (817): you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit. http://tfl.nu/6hvl
  Replies (30) Good night (1102) Bad night (8620)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  when I sang my humps to you I meant it.

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  (419): when I sang my humps to you I meant it. http://tfl.nu/9lvg
  Replies (2) Good night (3430) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...

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  (206): he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker... http://tfl.nu/z1il
  Replies (16) Good night (5209) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

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  (270): We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/l81q
  Replies (7) Good night (3807) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.

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  (215): I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang. http://tfl.nu/znwa
  Replies (9) Good night (2364) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.

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  (970): Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack. http://tfl.nu/afhg
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls

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  (204): I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls http://tfl.nu/4n4b
  Replies (11) Good night (624) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.

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  (971): It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth. http://tfl.nu/pavc
  Replies (5) Good night (390) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.

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  (289): In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/ntm3
  Replies (13) Good night (458) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.

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  (570): Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan. http://tfl.nu/akru
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder

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  (205): You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder http://tfl.nu/hpcq
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him

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  (832): i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him http://tfl.nu/ixz8
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (142)

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