Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize