Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
