Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
