the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I skipped work to stalk him.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
