Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
