Quick, to the slutcave!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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