Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
