If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize