i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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