do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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