So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
