Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
