We won't sleep together?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize