Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
