This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
