I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
