she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
