Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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