both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize